A widespread challenge many women face: struggling to express themselves freely in professional settings. Let’s address the three core barriers to speaking up.
1. Taking the Floor: The Art of Mindful Interruption
Fear of appearing rude prevents many from contributing in meetings. But here’s a reframe: interruptions aren’t necessarily disrespectful. They are often essential to productive conversations.
The key is mindful interruption—entering the conversation with intention rather than impulsiveness.
Try these phrases:
- “Can I share a thought here?”
- “I’d like to add something to that point.”
- “Before we move on, I think it’s important to consider…”
These openings make your contributions feel appropriate while ensuring your voice is heard.
2. Daring to Disagree: The Power of Diverse Views
Fear of conflict inhibits people from expressing differing opinions. But disagreement drives innovation and diversity. Homogeneous thinking leads to blind spots and missed opportunities.
The key is to disagree constructively:
- Acknowledge the other perspective first
- Use phrases like “I see your point, but have you considered…”
- Focus on ideas, not personalities
This transforms potential confrontation into constructive dialogue.
3. Curiosity Unleashed: Embracing the Power of Questions
Self-preservation instincts make people hesitant to ask clarifying questions. We fear looking incompetent or uninformed.
But consider this: asking questions shows a willingness to learn. It demonstrates engagement and strength, not weakness.
The smartest people in the room are often the ones asking the most questions. They know that understanding deeply is more valuable than appearing to already know.
The Neuroscience Behind the Fear
Understanding why speaking up feels difficult helps us overcome the resistance:
The amygdala triggers fear responses to perceived social threats. Speaking up feels dangerous because our brain treats social risk similarly to physical danger.
The prefrontal cortex can override these fear reactions through conscious effort. With practice, rational thought can quiet the alarm bells.
The anterior cingulate cortex processes conflicts. When we anticipate disagreement, this region activates, creating discomfort before we’ve even spoken.
The ventromedial prefrontal cortex enables empathetic communication. Engaging this region helps us deliver our message in ways others can receive.
Your Weekly Challenge
This week, practice each communication skill:
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Monday-Wednesday: Practice mindful interruption. Enter at least one conversation you’d normally stay silent in.
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Thursday-Friday: Express a differing opinion constructively. Use the acknowledge-then-add approach.
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Weekend: Ask questions freely. Notice how it changes the quality of conversations.
Being heard isn’t about being loud. It’s about being present, intentional, and willing to contribute your unique perspective to the conversation.