What to Do When You Feel the Tears Coming, Even in a Meeting
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Who amongst us hasn't ever cried at work? It's often seen as more common among women, but I'm sure many men have experienced it too. Those overwhelming moments when you find yourself rushing to the nearest private space to let the tears flow. But what if they come too fast, and you're left exposed, even in a meeting?
I remember two distinct times when this happened to me. The first was early in my career, after a call with my boss in the US. He suggested that a native English speaker review my newsletter content. This hit me hard. I was juggling long hours in a new role, with minimal support and two toddlers at home. My command over English (and French) is something I take pride in; I even correct our copywriters. So, this felt like a significant insult and a blow to my hard work. The tears came as soon as the call ended. I was close to quitting that day, but I'm glad I didn't.
The second time was unexpected and took both me and my manager by surprise. I had just been offered a demanding new role with three teams to lead and everything to build from scratch. Meanwhile, my male colleagues were getting more resources, while I struggled with a skeleton team. When I finally discussed this with my manager, and he agreed to allocate more headcount, the relief was immense. The tears just flowed. I was so caught up in the moment that I couldn't even meet his eyes, feeling a mix of shock, relief, and embarrassment. I worried about his reaction, wondering if he'd think I was overreacting or considering involving HR. Bless him.
These moments taught me a lot about emotional vulnerability in the workplace. It's not about weakness; it's about the intense pressures we face and the human capacity to feel deeply. It's about those times when professional challenges intersect with our personal lives, creating a perfect storm of emotions.
So, How Do We Manage These Moments?
Even though feeling overwhelmed is normal, many of us prefer to maintain composure in a professional setting. Here are some techniques, including breathing exercises, to help you do just that:
Deep Breathing: When you feel the onset of overwhelming emotions, try deep breathing. Inhale slowly for a count of four, hold for a count of four, and then exhale for a count of four. This helps activate your parasympathetic nervous system, which calms the body and mind.
The 4-7-8 Technique: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold your breath for 7 seconds, and exhale for 8 seconds. This technique, known for reducing anxiety, can be particularly effective in moments of high emotional stress.
Mindful Awareness: Acknowledge your emotions without judgment. Sometimes, simply recognizing that you're feeling overwhelmed can create a space between your feelings and your response, giving you time to choose how to proceed.
Step Away if possible: Take a brief walk or step into a private space. A change of scenery can sometimes interrupt the emotional build-up and offer a moment of respite.
Understand the Brain's Role: It's important to remember that emotional responses are a part of our brain's function. The amygdala, responsible for emotional processing, can become hyperactive under stress. By engaging in breathing exercises, we can help regulate its activity, allowing our prefrontal cortex (involved in decision-making and control) to regain control.
While it's completely okay to show emotions, understanding and managing them can often help us maintain our composure in professional settings. These techniques are not just about avoiding tears; they're about empowering ourselves to handle emotional challenges with grace and resilience.
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