The Power of Speaking Up
As I've stepped away from the corporate world, I've found myself lost in reflections of past experiences, and the extraordinary people I've encountered along the way. It's fascinating, how taking a moment to look back illuminates so much about our journey.
The stories I recount from my career often leave my friends astonished. Perhaps it's because I’m French, wielding an air of self-confidence, and a dash of 'je ne sais quoi' that signals my indifference to others' perceptions of me. When I have something to say, I say it, and I'm usually heard loud and clear.
Raised to assert my needs and wants, I've never hesitated to ask for clarifications when needed. This, in my view, wasn't questioning my competence, but rather acknowledging that different perspectives may require different methods of communication. I asked questions for clarity, for smooth sailing, and yet, it often set me apart as the lone woman willing to raise her voice.
While this habit bore positive fruits, it also forged an undeserved reputation: being called “scary” by other women was unexpected. Despite their admiration for my confidence, they found my assertiveness intimidating. While I didn’t entirely understand this at the time, upon reflection, I recognise my patience may have worn thin during unnecessary meetings, leading to possibly abrupt communications. Yet, my indifference to these opinions prevailed.
Life is too short to relinquish control over the aspects within our grasp.
I chose to steer my life, to voice my thoughts when necessary, to seek clarity as needed. The thought of women hesitating to voice their opinions, to ask simple questions, truly disheartens me. Will the person across from you matter in 5, 10 years? Or will you be left holding a bag of regret?
As I wrap up these reflections, I want to leave you with this scenario: you're in a taxi, crammed in the backseat with your loved ones, and you feel the driver pushing the pedal a bit too enthusiastically. What's your move?
Option 1: you check your seat belt, pull it tighter, and say a silent prayer, hoping the taxi ride doesn't turn into a white-knuckle thrill ride.
Option 2: your mind turns into a brainstorming session, weighing countless ways you could suggest the driver to slow down without upsetting him. But the words remain stuck in your throat.
Option 3: you channel that grit and courage, lean in, and politely ask the driver to ease off the accelerator.
What did you choose?
Option 3 is what I did.
Now, that's not just a taxi ride. But it’s also a metaphor for your life. Are you going to tighten your seatbelt and hope for the best, or will you gather the courage to speak up, demand respect, and make sure you're driving at a pace that's comfortable for you?
In life, like in that taxi, you're not just a passenger, you're an active participant. Grab that wheel, my friends, and navigate towards your desired destination. Remember, no change ever came from sitting quietly in the backseat. Stand up, speak out, and remember, it's your ride.
Drive it your way. Taking control isn't always straightforward. Trust me, I've been there, and I know the challenges that come with finding your voice and embracing your power. That's why I've chosen to do what sets my soul on fire: supporting women like you on their journey towards self-discovery and authenticity.
With Aida Coaching, my newly launched coaching practice, we cut through the fluff. This isn't about hollow promises of transformation or selling you an unrealistic dream. It's about work, the real work that takes you on a deep dive into your core, unearthing the real 'you' that's been hidden or suppressed.
My mission is to create an empowering space for women who are done with playing small, women who are ready to roll up their sleeves, dig deep, and step into their true potential.
To help you on this path, I'll be sharing more value-added articles here, offering raw, no-nonsense wisdom and inspiration. I've also created a group coaching programme, providing a platform for shared growth and real connections, and launching soon.
I’ll also be launching my new website, a hub of empowering resources, insightful content, and of course, your personal invitation to join the vibrant Aida community.
It's time to discard the mask, to embrace your authenticity, and to let your true self shine. No frills, no fluff, just you stepping into your power. Together, we're going to make it happen.
The neuroscience behind it (because I love to understand what really is happening!)
The brain plays an exciting role when we navigate the complexities of expressing ourselves. Our 'emotional headquarters,' the amygdala, is the culprit for those nerve-racking moments when we hesitate to ask for clarity. This small region is always on the lookout for threats, and the prospect of seeming uninformed can set off its alarm bells.
But don't worry, our brain's 'CEO,' the prefrontal cortex, can come to the rescue. This part is in charge of decisions and social interactions. So when you consciously decide to ask for clarification, you're activating your prefrontal cortex to calm the amygdala and overcome its fear response.
Now, when women decide to be assertive, they can sometimes face resistance or even backlash. This negative reaction is linked to long-standing societal biases that wrongfully equate a woman's assertiveness to being aggressive. As a result, labels like 'intimidating' or 'scary' may be tossed around.
But here's the exciting part - your brain has a reward system! When you assert yourself and it yields positive results, like gaining clarity or achieving a goal, your brain gifts you a 'happiness hormone' called dopamine. This rush of positivity encourages you to repeat the behavior in the future.
Finally, the bold decision to take charge of your life and express your thoughts stimulates a region in your brain known as the ventromedial prefrontal cortex (vmPFC). This brain area helps weigh the pros and cons of our choices. When we speak up, it's like telling our vmPFC that the potential benefits, such as respect and autonomy, outweigh the risks like conflict or misunderstanding. Over time, as we experience the rewards of speaking up, our vmPFC learns to value this behavior, making it easier for us to choose to speak up in the future.
In a nutshell, mastering the art of expression taps into various parts of our brains. It's about conquering fears, challenging societal norms, leveraging our brain's reward system, and making choices that align with our true selves.
Now, isn't that an exhilarating journey of self-discovery and authenticity?
